isa lang masasabi ko.. tonight.. it feels like i am the most alone person on earth! *bow*

boBon

     i had a talk with mom the other day.. she said her Pinay friends in Japan said that i look like a taiwainese.. Oh my Gulay! i am Pinay! and some friends of biBoink asked him if i was "instik" daw.. i am not uyy! maybe because my eyes are pa-cute when i smile! HAHA! my lola, "mama" has a chinese blood though.. her original middle name is - li chat ko.. basta uyy! maybe i got a little chinese-y blood from mama.. hehe! just like tita eyen and ate kaye who were also mistaken chinese in our family..

     anyway.. speaking of beauty.. i read an article in a magazine.. a May 2003 issue of Preview about beauty.. it was not shocking at all.. it was like a bitaw-noh-tama-talaga article.. they were presenting how girls, ladies.. women conform with the society's definition of beauty.. how puti and payat is always.. uhmm.. will always be beautiful..

    "being beautiful" is one of the most successful businesses in the industry.. every whitening, darkening, enhancing, softening, smoothening, toning, tweezing, waxing, bleaching, straightening, perming and so on and so on is very saleable.. women today, sacrificed a lot.. and still are sacrificing just to fit in to the standards..

     according to the article, when you feel pain everytime you get your armpit waxed or your feet feels pain when you wear your 2-inch stilletos.. or even that simple ballet flats that is responsible for the marks and blisters that are very visible on both your foot.. it connotes suffering.. and many of us are suffering for the sake of beauty.. [ every girl had gone from beauty innocent to a beauty martyr - the exact words used in the magazine.. HAHA! so true! so true! ] ..additional kudos! i also agree that despite all the pain, blood and time it felt good.. because nobody is alone in this physical and mental suffering.. just to become B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! most of us are guilty to be one talaga.. a very fine article! so cool.. i was able to read this because.. right now, i am busy doing my cut-outs for my cabinet doors - my SUMMER project! by the way it is almost finish..

     anyhow.. i still believe that no matter how ugly an object is.. it is not actually ugly.. for any form it maybe, PERSPECTIVE can make it beautiful.. will make it beautiful.. for what is beauty for me may not always be beautiful to everybody.. and vice versa..

      i am liking this song so much!  ..listen and smile!

  boBon

     DAILY ROUTINE :

     higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain

     higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain

     higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain.higa.nuodtv.pc.kain

     P*Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! this definitely is my hatest summer! i am a damn, fresh grad for nothing! hayoooooooooooooooop! i'm so bored! kill me! shoot me! drown me! my cellphone's sira pa talaga! my God! grabeh! grabeh! grabeh! ka-luhpeet! ka-sad ko! grrr..

boBon

boBon 

     i'm a bored bum.. penniless and a good for nothing.. i have done everything i can do at home.. i've been in front of the pc all day.. surfing, reading, checking my accounts and looking at people's accounts na rin.. i admired a lot of lovely couples, pretty ladies and interesting people.. - "hey! don't make a big deal out if it ha? because i have checked yours.. please lang.. HAHA!"

     i have also deleted my boBon account in Friendster.. kapoy dalawa account.. di ko naman rin binubuksan.. i've watched tv more than 8 hours.. i've cleaned out my closet, threw papers from school i know i won't be using anymore, brushed all my slippers and shoes.. orderly arranged everything i could.. i even changed my bed's linens on my own.. oh yes! ganun ako ka-bored.. i did taebo tOo for 2 days.. but i stopped! sumakit ang buong katawan ko eh.. i also finished the Prison Break DVDs and other DVDs from tito don.. i have listed my "to-dos", done all of it and scratched it all na rin.. i am very tired.. tired of doing nothing and just staying home..

     i am also done with my resume.. passed my 1x1 photo for my alumni card.. and i've been to Panabo to copy my D.R. cases.. i did all of this last week.. while my T.O.R and as well as the O.R. schedules are still being followed-up..

    i need a job! i want a job.. i have to work!

    "one -of-a-kind".. thanks Joseph Tinsay for this comment! -- a friend of biBoink from Bukidnon said this to me..  i don't know if it was just because of his tOo much alcohol intake.. just so much intoxication i guess.. HAHA! and because of his amazement that i don't smoke cigarettes.. but either way thanks! come to think of it.. everyone is one-of-a-kind.. but.. i am the only person i know who got her braces twice.. it was removed after having it for 3 years sobra and getting it again after being on a retainers for 3 months.. HAHA! ..i am also the only person i know who loves ripe mangoes but hates it when it's unripe.. and i am the only person i know who wants to go to Davao Memorial Park to visit my late grandpa "Papa" and study my notes there.. or maybe.. i just don't know too many people that's why i can only think about myself when it comes to stuff like this.. HAHAHA!

     by the way today is April 8.. my mom's due date for baby Amir Danyal to be born.. my soon-to-be baby brother.. i hope my mom's doing great and i hope she'd call.. i'm a little bit worried because my mom is a scaredy-cat when it comes to hospital procedures.. injections?!? DEFINITELY!

     a kudos and a greeting to des and earl toO.. HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY also to my still-peborit-couple "The Buyogs".. to teetay and earliloi.. stay happy and in love! i love you both BIG TIME! take care of each other..

     my urge to write is satisfied.. now i have to get myself back to boredom and NOTHING again!

boBon

"WALANG TAWIRAN NAKAMAMATAY"

     ano raw des?!? HAHA! laugh trip! to be taga DAVAO is the best!

     okay! so i came from my 3 nights-4 days trip to Manila.. and i am so giddy and overwhelmed SOBRAaaaaa because of..

1.) the Tagaytay expedition, the Enchanted Kingdom fun, the Alabang and Mandaluyong joyride with berks and Yy, the 1504 inom party and tOo many to mention food trips with everyone i got to be with.. HAHA!

2.) the libre-S

3.) my NEW friends.. especially bryan and ren! -- to yanyan : "i finally get to meet you in person! close na talaga tayo sa totoong buhay!.." -- and to ren : " together with des, jans and bryan.. the  5 of us are so perfect! HAHA! we just so clicked immediately!'

4.) my berks - except miA and tal

5.) teetaykins - "my BFF and ever" - our kerni title and our kapitbahay Makati hotels and meet-ups at Glorietta! we are like-so-sosyal-naaa! HAHA!

6.) jansell - "spending more than a day with ME? NEVER A REGRET di bah?! *wink!*"

7.) tita jojo - "i love you so muchiee!"

8.) mommy - my forever sponsor

9.) boinkee woinkeee - "wala lang love! =)"

10.) ..and SHOPPING! SHOPPING! SHOPPING!

     what is listed on top is NOT in order! ..but surely everything i mentioned above made my trip a blaaaast! and now.. i am back in my roOm.. with so much happiness and new stuff.. hehe! .. and it's just now that i have grasped of the thought that i have no events *yet!* to wear what i've bought! nyaaaak! HAHA!

boBon

     "bakit ka masayahin?"- it isn't actually my first time to hear this.. but everytime i do! it just simply makes me HAPPY-er.. - uhmm.. thanks pipoy! HAHA!

     tonight! i mean morning.. (the computer time's 3:26 a.m.) is so boring.. i still have 2 days before i leave for Manila.. i am excited.. just because i want this Holy week to end and for me to be back here in my room.. in Davao.. - and the reason for this is no other than.. i hate the feeling of "missing".. this is why graduation is such a SAD event and as well as SUMMER.. separation is such common.. - i miss my boinkee woinkeee! ♥

     i hope shopping is going to be worth all it.. DUH?!? it always does..

    mommy and i have been chit-chatting on the phone for the past few days.. it only means that i have been staying home a lot compared before.. i like listening to her updates about her tummy.. i can't wait for my new brother - baby Danyal to be born..

    anyway.. my room's a mess.. still! i haven't put up the yellow butterfly jansell and janille gave me last New Year's day, throw out papers i should get rid of months ago, read books i started and haven't finished until now, clean out my bags and shoes, BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! ..and my "to do" list goes on.. i know i have no excuses to give anymore.. since i have all the time in the world.. hahaaay.. 

    maybe tomorrow i would start doing it.. or the next tomorrow-S following tomorrow's tomorrow! hehe.. i am definitely a certified good-for-nothing alright.. and who isn't nowadays?!? HAHAHA!

boBon

     i got this from his phone's recorded sound clips! this is vocally him! HAHA! i love my boinkee woinkeee! HAHA! =)

boBon

"if your name was in the dictionary, 

i'm sure its meaning would be a "a true friend",

because that's exactly what you are to me!

good times become twice as FUN

when i share them with you.

i love sharing laughter with you, even over

some corny jokes or crazy stories

that have been told a hundred times before.

(do you think it's it's in the way we tell them? nah!

i guess it's just because we enjoy

each other's company so much!).

of course, you are also by my side during my

everything-seems-to-be-going-wrong days.

whenever i feel bad and choose not to talk

about the things that bother me,

you patiently wait until i'm ready to talk,

and you really listen as i let out

a few dramatic sighs.

a smile and a hug from you guarantees an

everything-is-finally-OK day to me.

(you never fail!).

and finally, being with you means 

i don't have to pretend

or be somebody else

because you accept me

just the way i am.

(that includes the way i dress,

the way i walk,

the way i style my hair..).

if my name was in the dictionary,

well i'm sure it's meaning would be

"lucky",

because that's exaclty what i am

for having a true friend like you."

     plus a 2 and a 1/2 page letter.. - which is the BEST part of the card!

     i have been very temperamental about this.. i thought the friendship was already buried under all the events that happened..

    we are both aware that there has been a gap already.. maybe because we both already got used to not-being-with-each-other anymore.. because you chose not tO be with me.. for such reasons you can only explain..

     i know i have my faults tOo.. and with it, i have also my reasons..

     at least for now you have expressed yours.. wait for my card mayce! i'm still looking for a card that will fit you perfectly well also!

love you!

boBon

     sometimes.. i still miss.. miss the good ol' days! you know.. that status that almsot everybody thinks is.. i don't know how to described it.. basta! it has been tagged with many names already.. i have been vocal about this.. we both know.. anyway.. despite it! i am happy! yet i know i can't be always.. and today.. i am not..

     i did my morning routine walk today.. as usual.. my from-house-to-kanto-walk.. my only daily exercise.. i saw a small dog.. and guess whaat??! i thought it was my RED.. i'm still looking for him.. and i still do miss him.. and i was again disappointed to find out that it wasn't him..

     i arrived at school the same way i always do.. my i ain't happy nor sad face.. my expressionless face.. until i saw my groupmates/classmates.. and again, the usual.. i smile.. and started our morning with chikas while waiting for our clinical instructor to arrive..

     i realized after that.. that i am missing mommy.. despite her annoying meticulous self that loves to citicized everything probably because of her boredom and the baby she carries.. i miss her.. i just miss her.. and i wonder a lot how she's doing now..

     i wonder a lot.. it's not good.. it makes me worry.. i asked.. i always do..i asked a lot.. i don't know why do i always have to ask.. 'cause you know.. after hearing the answers.. it doesn't change anything.. the thoughts.. they are still there..

     when will i label it N-O-T-H-I-N-G??? thoughts.. so many.. i guess i never learned.. and i am still learning..

    tomorrow hopefully will be different.. it has to be different..

worrying is stealing my happiness! damn it!

boBon

     why can't she say it nicely.. she talks as if we are just things she owned.. i don't know.. maybe i 'm just not use to this.. and i'm pretty sure she isn't also.. come to think of it everyone around here is adjusting..

     i am not complaining when i am asked to do something.. i NEVER do.. whoever ordered me to.. but at least say it nicely.. is that too difficult to do!??

     R-E-S-P-E-C-T.. i think everyone deserves it.. even if you are talking to 5 year old child or to a 95 year old lolo.. there is really no difference..

     i never imagined that there would be a time in my life that i would feel this.. i asked teetay if this emotion i labeled H-A-T-E is normal.. and she answered without a doubt a big YES! thanks teetay for the reply..

     i hate that she sees us as "SAMUK!" i'm just glad that i'm nothing like her..

     in the future.. i will not try.. but i will do my best to be.. not her.. i am not saying that i am sweet.. kind.. or even claiming that i, myself is close to being perfect.. because nobody is.. and i know that everybody commits mistakes.. but i think putting ourselves in each others' shoes is the best way to know how to understand each other.. because prevention is always better then cure.. di ba!?? basta! i'll make sure how to act in situations where as much as possible, i won't be called HYSTERICAL..

     we are so alike in some ways yet so different in probably.. mostly EVERYTHING..

     aaaaaah! this room i named/termed/labeled "MY SOLACE" is not anymore where i want to be.. i wish i could leave and travel..

     i think i'm stressed.. maybe everyone is.. even her..

boBon

    i lost RED.. it's his 2nd day today.. he's gone.. where can i find my missing dog!? pray for my baby.. i miss him so much.. if he'll return i promise to always find time and take care of him myself.. come back RED.. come home baby..

     right now.. all i want for Christmas is my RED..

boBon

     ABSENT! i have to be.. i had a reflux yesterday afternoon at school and a fever - a body temperature of 38.8 C and an abdominal pain last night, a stomach ache and this damn diarrhea  today.. ako talaga ay batang masakitin! matagal na! here's ME in the car on the way to the doctor..

     i visited the doctor this morning with my mommy and tita jojo.. yup! bata pa ako.. i still need my tita jojo during check-ups.. the doctor explained the possible diagnoses --> and yes! PLURAL form! marami talaga! like gastroenteritis, UTI *again*, amebiasis, ulcer and some stone development and gall bladder related diseases.. ewan! nabingi ako dun.. sabay pinagalitan pa ako dahil baka daw sa diet ko!? i don't starve myself.. i eat 3-4 times a day.. kahit NO rice.. i have been doing it for 163 days now.. and today.. i decided to stop it! i got to STOP my NO rice diet naaa! because my stomach's too sensitive.. and there is an increase hydrochloric acid formation in my belly.. ME eating my first tablespoon of rice during today's lunch..

     that is why.. i am on a soft diet.. NO softdrinks, no ice tea, no beer or any alcoholic beverages and not even my all time favorite C2 red apple flavored drink.. until we get the results for my laboratory tests.. i am taking omeprazole! mga nursing diraaa! ka-relate kayo.. hehe!

     thanks for those concerned people.. to biBin! for taking me home when i vomited.. to Ria/ Aming Seguerra for the tissue.. to the Bytes boys - Jherson, Pen & Chino who convinced me to go to the clinic.. to Marl and Jon who saw me vomiting on the grass near the jacinto gate and asked me right after if i was okay.. to my bro duy-duy and his "pagaling-ka-sis" messages.. to mayce and her "magrest ka" text message.. for the "pagaling-ka" friendster comments of ate kisakiskis and palaaway na july-lai.. to febie and her "get-well-soon" YM messages..

     and especially to my most labs na teetay! ang aking sumbungan! love kitaa! sayang di kami nakasama ni owmer watch ng sine today with you and earliloi.. weekly routine na ba itong double-triple date with duy-duy and my soOn-to-be-sis-in-law hopefully na si toOot?! haha! misyoOoo teetaykins!

     and biBin.. again! for the home visit last night! love mo ako! kaya love kita! haha! love yoooou!

boBon

     because of current events.. i had a recall.. a recall of a place where i used to be and in a situation i don't want to be in anymore..

     unfortunately, it was even followed up with a dream.. a dream i know will always be just a dream.. that unknowing feeling.. that overlooked desire.. this something-something-feeling i want to ignore.. i have to ignore.. i need to ignore.. hahaay.. i was hopeful i'd find the answer in that dream tOo.. but i never did.. i guess i have to deal with it in reality..

     because.. maybe.. sometimes.. it's still.. syataaaaap!

boBon

     quoted from John Salinasal's mouth.. - "Naa na lang tay 116 days para mag March 15.. Apil na dira ang Sundays.. 106 na lang dyud diay.. Kay naa pa tay 10 days Christmas vacation".. OMG! i am shocked and amazed.. it's almost over.. hopefully almost over for all of us..

     why waste my days over thinking?! let us enjoy the time left to be spent..

     too bad.. 'cause this soon to be last memories.. may not be worth keeping..

'nough with the dramas!

boBon

     either way.. it's killing me.. i am confuse..

     i'm back to where every song seems right for me.. where every line i come across with speaks about where i am now.. where everything has a meaning..

     it's not me anymore.. when now doesn't feel right.. when giving up.. nor staying isn't the answer.. i don't know why.. i guess i just don't know where to place myself.. because every effort i make isn't appreciated.. well.. maybe because i can't even be half of what he expects me to be.. and i'm not going to be enough..

     i know i have? got? the best.. oh! yes! you are.. but i guess i am not? even close to being the best for you..

..yet LOVE for me.. still is the closest thing to MAGIC..

boBon

    oh-my-always-worried-paranoid-neurotic self is at its peak! i haaaaaaaate it!

boBon

     why waste the friendship!? because of adjustments!? just understand.. i did.. and i still do.. no one should lose anybody.. but it feels like i'm losing you.. and you know what's the saddest part here?! you're giving up.. you're pushing me away.. and it pains me.. why do you have to throw it all away!? i hate it! i am a crybaby.. i don't get it.. but if that's what you want.. i will..

i still miss you mayce..

boBon

     this may be abrupt.. but i am for it! i am happy! and so he is.. we called it "MAGIC".. the hell with the pakialameros and pakialameras who speaks evil and thinks they're perfect.. we are enjoying each other's company.. that's all that matters..

     he's the reason for my BIGGER smile everyday.. for the libre-s he do for me! for the games he let me win ALWAYS.. for worrying when i haven't replied to his messages.. for telling bro duy-duy to take care of me when he's not around.. for introducing me to his friends.. for wanting and making me meet his cool and cute mommy.. and almost all of his relatives as well.. for being proud.. haha! for just plainly being him..

     to YOU: oh yes you! you talk as if you are so great! don't come clean i know something about you.. haha! it's more revolting and you should be the one asking for advices and not giving one.. --> GO react! and admit.. i am not doing anything bad to you or to anybody.. i really don't know why are you making a big deal out of it.. mind your own life.. please lang..

     a quote for you.. i just read this from a friend's "about me" in friendster: "gawin mo lahat ng gusto mo at sabihin mo ang gusto mong sabihin.. dahil ang nakikialam ay hindi importante.. at ang mga importanteng tao ay walang pakialam.."

     God Bless everyone always! so.. you are included still.. and i pray for you.. for peace of mind and for finding happiness in your heart..

boBon

     i hate it when people force what they think.. i know i don't have control over other people's thoughts and actions.. but i hate it when someone would really push what they believe in..

     just came from my class retreat.. as i expected.. i got a million pictures! i got one shot with air of smoke.. it was marl who took the photo! in his other hand was yosi while the other one is holding the camera taking pictures of us.. tita jojo saw it and assumed that i am smoking.. i hate it! i know how to smoke and i'm honest about it but i'm not really smoking.. and everybody knows that! i hate its smell.. basta everything about it.. i told her my part.. and she didn't listen.. and i don't care anymore i'm just telling the truth.. pero makainis pa rin ang thought na ipilit niya talaga na i'm smoking and i smoke.. kaineeeees..

     i got the sweetest picture comment in my friendster account saying "HI! BOBON, DADEE TO.. MY LITTLE ANGEL...... GANDA NG BABY KO....".. it was my dad! natawa ako kasi he got a friendster account rin.. hehe!

     hahaay naku! i miss my classmates na! good night beautiful world!

boBon